Depression Blues...

There are some things which are small but they look big, I think coz they are really small but we think they are big or they are really big...Whatever...I mean think about it i got into pgpim in mdi and i decided to spend 14 lakhs on a course coz the outlook of outcome of prospects when I got out looked outstanding. Now since the industry is out of its mind I am rethinking. I wished i had done this earlier. I am not going moaning about what the fuck this mdi institution is or whatever. On the contrary, I wonder if the decision had a deeper meaning.

Think of a person digging a pit in the earth, to dig deeper he has to keep on going inside the pit. Is that what I will be doing after I am done making the next installment of the course fees, I wonder...Now, there could be two paths from here. Either, the person could come out of pit sell off all the mud and walk away with the cash, OR he remains in the pit unable to come out. I presume you understand what i am saying figuratively.

Let us just leave me out of the picture, think about other people who were already managers in their organizations before coming to mdi to acquire that coveted MBA degree. Quite possibly to add something to their CV's, to prove to the world that they are capable of something, which they were and they knew they were even before doing this lousy MBA.

It is this that bothers me. Sometimes, we do things differently than we would have done, thinking how our parents or the people around us will think about this. and sometimes we think how would doing this make our parents look in front of the relatives and the world. Sometimes, we feel happiness out of our acheivement particularly coz you know your parents appreciate this and that may be because your parents are receiving all the attention of the world for what you have done.

I wonder what it would have been if I would have been an orphan. I know I am a capable person. CAT definitely proves that. It is not so much as a numbers or language thing. It tests whether you can think or not. It checks if you were filled with enough passion for a thing would you make it good. You fucking would. You have proved yourself once and you can do it again. If this is true 

then, why can't i hit the streets and make something of whatever i have inside. what kind of a chain am i in. I don't know. I don't know why i am supposed to be something big in some particular fashion..whats wrong with being a small timer who writes stupid blogs.

I don't know when I would stop to think as if i am inside a container and i am craining my neck out to look at a beautiful world.

Remember Swades....

I am listening to 'Swades' track "Yeh vo bandan hai jo kabhi toot nahi sakta". The scenes from the movie go auto playing in my mind. Powerful the song must be for the emotions it evokes. I remember, while I was working in a call centre, I was talking to the only girl in our batch. We were talking about the movie. She said the movie touched her. I had said that it touched me too, though the actress of the movie (Gayatri) had a more profound effect on me, she simply stole my heart. She smiled. I then happened to ask her what exactly in the movie touched her the most. She vividly described a scene when Mohan bhargava (apna SRK - playing 'An Indian NASA scientist') is travelling from one Indian village to another in a train and how a young boy is running on the platform of railway station to sell water in a kullad for 25p. I distinctly remember Mohan was visibly perturbed by the fact that this could well be the means of livelihood of some brethren of his own race. I mean here livelihood of a person who is as human as he is and therefore pointing to the stark contrast in levels of existence. 

Then, probably inspired by 'Mind of Strategist by Kenichi Omahe' which I happened to be reading at the same time I was listening to the song, I starting analysing and realised that perhaps is no investment in this business activity but it requires great deal of labour. It would have involved gathering mud, make it amenable to being casted into kullad, then giving shape to kullad on a rotating wheel and finally filling water and making the sales effort. Now, taking into consideration the settings shown in the movie (which were quite life like), a rough estimate of the money he would be able to make would be at max 4 rupees. These 4 rupees should be able to buy a village person enough wheat to just manage survival of a family for a day. In a non agriculture season sustaining livelihood by this means may well be an ingenious idea. Though, I am not too sure of that. To think of that more realistically that was the way one family was surviving at least in the movie. 

This brings to light the evolution of man kind from a prehistoric to a modern man. Needless to say, both survived fine. What is different is the survival needs, what is a need for one is beyond luxuries for the other. A modern man (put yourself in his place) can't think of living without soap and a shampoo. A normal human if we go back some centuries didn't even knew about these things. To quote a specific instance of what I am talking about, I recount a incident that stuck me while I was working with Infosys (a software giant) in pune India. We (4 people sharing an apartment) were invited to a society dusshera function after which we were served dinner. However, there were no spoons. People were accustomed to eating with hand. Even my other flatmates managed somehow, but I born an brought up in a spoon using family (pun intended) could not eat and therefore I had to waste chawal. This might sound funny which it is but something similar can happen to anybody and therefore, the incident demands observation and contemplation. 

This incident made me believe that we have complicated ourselves where where we could have been living very simply. If we consider a normal human being life cycle, a person is born, he studies, he works, he grows old and eventually he dies. On an organism level it is immaterial whether there was a technological advancement on the planet or not, it is also immaterial if the organism was able to understand the cosmos and the diseases plaguing it. Sometimes, I also began to think of the futility of what we are all striving for in this world of cut throat competition. To put it bluntly, one is simply going to die and it would be immaterial what one made of oneself after he/she ceases to exist. And it doesn't require a particular spiritual bent of mind to figure this out. That is also the reason I sometimes feel 'I am flowing with the river' like most others. Mind has so been constricted by the society that it only can think between and not beyond. I wish and hope sincerely that there is a more reasonable explanation.

:: Evolving Thoughtblog ::

Blog as wiki puts it is "A website, usually maintained by an individual, with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.". A thoughtblog however, would be a website on the lines of a blog but here one would pen down his ideas and opinions on things that fall in one's purview.
Blog could be called as a medium through which the reader can touch the author at a superficial level where a thoughtblog would enable the reader to understand the thought process and the ideas / feeling / opinions that make up the person.
To give a clearer picture lets take an example : Two persons ABC and XYZ visit a foreign land and spend three days there visiting a host of places. ABC writes a blog where he describes the places he visited, he can then very well go on to explain the experiences he went through, his feelings and the differences between foreign land and his native land. XYZ however writes a thoughtblog where he might / might not pen down where he went but he might talk about how people on two different lands are so different in the way they live but so similar on a lets say thinking plane, on what could be cause for a particular set of people to live like the way they do while others form there own community which differs.
Well, I would love to call this concept of thoughtblog as my creation but like many other things this has already been taken. People had already been writing thoughtblogs before the idea germinated in my mind, though there are not many of them yet.

Violent Fruits of Democracy

At times, Lok sabha sessions are a sight to watch, they are no less than rugby matches ( a sport known for on field violence) or mob violence events usually watchable in news channels every other day. Ministers of the parliament don't restrict their banging to the table in front, they frequently use opposition's head. Chairs are hurtled at each other and the whole affair gets really bloody at times. Yes, walkout is passe.
Other violent fruits of democracy include protest marches, burning effigies of people in a political dispute etcetera.

Great Fun isn't it? You can do whatever you want and can then call it your fundamental right if questions be asked. Pardon the memories of fundamental duties that accompany the rights if you don't want to spoil the fun.
No, do you like China then where even the media is governed by monarchic government. Just to go on record, India's democracy is envied by many nations where democracy doesn't exist. Fundamental right to speech, expressing oneself as a prime tenet of democracy makes it a very out there kind of thing, the presence of which is borne in every mind devoid of it.

Indians, in particular are very proud and boastful of their democracy, their freedom. Going back in the past, a story comes to my mind. On Aug 15 1947, people traveling by public transport refused to buy a ticket. On being asked to pay for the ticket, they said " What ticket? we're free now!!".

I personally like the lok sabha events. For the people who have been part of group discussions (GD's), try GD's with a difference, allow fist banging. I can tell you, you'll enjoy it. Forgive me for sounding so casual, I would like to remind that these parliamentarians discuss policy matters that decide the future course of action for running our country. Here's a stark contrast of these discussions with the normal group discussions that happen throughout the country over cups of chai coffee or other wise ( If man is a social animal, Indians are a hybrid). Discussions@parliament are a place where an MP just cannot give in to the magniloquence of the other MP. He is a forerunner and nation shaper. His agreements and disagreements would decide critical government policies which would eventually concern a crore plus people. He should and does speak his mind.

In our daily lives, we have often encountered situations where perfectly sane and educated people agree on a certain way to go about things. And, it so happens that a sub-ordinate or a less educated person points out the hazards of such a decision. Often, this voice is subdued but a retaliation doesn't come to preserve the tranquility of the vicinity. A mere imagination of an MP suppressing his own voice while in awe of his intellectual counterparts is enough to send chills down the spine.
It is to be borne in mind that the tranquility of parliament cannot be a botheration for government policy discussions. The need to be fair over-rides the need to maintain the sanctity of house of parliament. Democracy and the freedom of right is neither at the mercy nor does it need to castrate for respect of decorum of the hall of parliament.

An argument can be brought forward to say that whatever the discussion required should happen in a peaceful way without making a mayhem. For this, consider the people sitting in parliament, they hail from all sections of society, they can be English speaking Harvard educated or not educated at all.
Needless to say that each may have his/her own level of articulation. The power of democracy of a nation should not be limited by the articulation levels of the members elected to rule the nation. It is important to put forth your point in any which way, whether demanding physical force or otherwise.

Violence in the hall of parliament may also erupts when a MP sees a favorable decision being taken towards a policy matter which seems very absurd. Using Gandhiji's talisman here, I ask the reader what would he do if he is put into the shoes of such an MP. Being quiet is not given as a choice.

P.S. It is entirely plausible for a person to be incoherent as I am while writing this for a thought doesn't flow like a stream of water it flows like air in all directions. I have not tried to control it because the idea is to evoke though and not to prescribe or sell an idea. Also, the thoughts expressed in this post are entirely mine. You can use the comments section to support / disagree with ideas expressed.